A Little G in a Big D

Hey all:

So after being threatened with bodily harm if I didn’t update with “something — anything” on this here blog, I find myself staring at a blank screen. Michelle’s folks are in town for the holiday, but they’re all off “floating” (in a canoe … it’s what Midwesterners do instead of tubing), and I’m stuck here in Columbia on “death watch” — basically, riding the police scanner for any sort of accident chatter from the annual Memorial Day Salute to Veterans Airshow; funny enough, we apparently have one of the longest-running air shows in the country without a major accident. Morbid … I know. But I digress …

I’ve no good excuse for the lapse in posting, except that I’m still a**-deep in a website redesign. Can you believe it’s been almost half a year since I took my site down for a redesign!? That’s just pathetic!

The biggest issue was that, for a decent period of time, I’d talked myself into moving away from a traditional photojournalism website to what’s commonly referred to as a “photoblog”; and it is what it sounds like: a blog that is more photo heavy. Moreover, I was planning on turning the whole site into a sort of journal, updating frequently with photos, random posts like this one, etc. I put a decent amount of work into it, too, mostly learning a lot more than I barely new about html, css, etc. by using a program called WordPress. Long story short, I beta tested my incomplete site with some photographer friends and the consensus was unexpected — bad idea, dude.

Apparently, “most” photo editors aren’t going to waste their time with some kid’s blog. Now it’s not that I’m looking for a new gig, but I still know it’s not a bad idea to continue getting my name out there; If that means scrapping it all and going back to a traditional portfolio site, so be it. I know — I’m a sell out.

But it wasn’t all a loss — putting all that work into WordPress was a good thing. Eventually (some time this decade), I’ll be moving this journal over to that format. It archives a little more intuitively, I think, and is a lot more adaptable than Blogger, at least to me. Also, I’ll be able to take all those archives (remember them?) and put them into WordPress, so the whole journal will be in one place. How ’bout them apples?

So to wrap it up, I appreciate your patience while I go back to the drawing board. I promise to not delay too much longer — I’m really in the mood for a simple website, so I don’t plan on immersing myself in a bunch of difficult coding … ’cause that we be stupid — I have no idea what I’m doing.

**And now for something completely different**

This is admittedly random — bear with me.

For the last — oh, I don’t know, say — six months, one of the commodes in Tribune’s ground floor mens restroom has been “Out of Order” …

For the first few weeks, I thought nothing — plumbing is a complex, almost magical system, so it didn’t phase me that problems beyond my knowledge would arise. Was it a too much toilet paper? A faulty valve or rod or the like? A giant turd, perhaps?? Whatever it was, it took this sucker out … indefinitely. Months later, I’m just amazed — what on God’s green earth could have happened in that stall to indefinitely kill that thing!? I’ve asked around the office, and no one knows a thing; if I weren’t such a wuss, I’d just call the maintenance department and go to the source.

I know it’s really not a big deal — there are four other perfectly capable sit-down toilets in this bathroom, plus another downstairs and like three more in the gym. I guess it’s the idea of it all that worries me — toilets break all the time, and usually they’re fixed within a reasonable amount of time, so just imagine what kind of crazy stuff had to go on in that stall to bring about this. I get winded just thinking about it.

This morning, curiosity got the better of me; oh how many times I’ve wandered into the bathroom, taken a look at this sign and just moved on. Not today — I had to take a closer look. Mustering up the little balance I have left (I’m getting progressively clumsier with age, so my guess is I’ll actually fall of the planet in my 50s), I stood on top of the neighboring stall’s toilet seat and took a peak.


Shocking — it’s so normal looking! The newspapers, rolls of bath tissue in line awaiting use; here I was expecting to see a gaping hole or feces-smeared walls.

Now I’m even more confused … Damn it!!! And, to make matters worse, I somehow managed to drop my pen in the toilet on the dismount …

The German judge gave me a six.

I think I’m just going to stop going to the bathroom at work — maybe keep a couple of emergency adult diapers in my locker … there are just too many unanswered questions here …

- g -

Hey folks — just thought I’d direct you all to a little multi-media piece I worked on for the Trib over the weekend. I spent the better part of Friday hanging out with the Simmons family, who have decided to ride the Columbia bus transit system for most (to all) in-town trips for the following month. The story ran this Monday. You can view the audio slideshow by clicking on the picture above, or here. Also, be sure to check out Tribune reporter Anne Nelson’s story here.

That’s all. Back to work on the website, which I assure you all will be done soon, and should be worth the wait. Hopefully.

- gerry -

As much as I like to deny it, newspapers are really like any other office — there’s a ton of different departments, lots of people whom I have no idea what they do all day, etc. And, there’s also no shortage of goofy “get the workers excited” campaigns, which are quite possibly my favorite thing about being a member of “the workforce.”

The goofier the campaign or slogan, the better. I love thinking about all the meetings and what-not that must take place, conference rooms with coffee cups strewn about, harried-looking “advertorial” types diligently working to come up with the best, most catchy phrase or idea that will be sure to inspire every single employee. They put this slogan on everything — posters, mugs, pencils, beer coozies, etc. And I love every bit of it.

So anyway, we have those kinds of things at newspapers; and actually, I technically work for a publishing company (even more departments and employees), so that’s even better. It seems like every week there’s some new poster or idea (”there is no ‘I’ in t-e-a-m”) floating about. The latest? The Tribune Health Fair.

I’m told this is really some sort of insurance thing (incentive?), aimed at getting us fat-and-lazy journalists off our duffs, away from our computers (and blogs) and heading down to the gym (we have a very nice gym, by the way). See, a fat employee is an unhealthy employee; an unhealthy employee will have to see a doctor at some point; a doctor will need to file and insurance claim; and so forth. Now I get the logic …

Anyway, I just love looking at these posters … I love thinking about all the banter that ensues as people formulate a plan and bounce ideas off one another …

“You know what would be great? Let’s have a mascot … say, a newspaper with eyes and arms and legs and a mouth … let’s have him running on a treadmill and doing other athletic stuff. How’s that sound to you all?”

Outstanding.

“And what about clinical checkups? How will we get our employees to come down stairs, to be poked and prodded like lab rats … and enjoy it??”

Tell them they’ll get to see what their inner ear looks like … and be sure to include exclamation points, because they convey a sense of excitement.

Yes. Oh yes. Actually, make that a “yes!”

- g -